Many individuals aspire to discover “the one.” Nonetheless, despite this shared aspiration, each person ultimately experiences love differently. You might find comfort in platonic relationships, depending more on your friends for emotional support rather than perpetually looking for a lifelong companion. Alternatively, you could often fantasize about your future spouse, envisioning your ideal life with them. In this scenario, you may be seen as a hopeless romantic. “[This] refers to someone who is more easily swept up in love and gets immersed in their romantic feelings,” states Bree Jenkins, a dating coach and licensed therapist. “Typically, they dream and fantasize about those they like, invest considerable energy into romantic endeavors, and possess a strong yearning for love and companionship. They generally view potential love through an overly romantic lens.”
Although it may seem that being a hopeless romantic isn’t problematic, only perceiving the world—and your romantic life—through these idealized lenses can lead to difficulties. Instead of assessing the risks and possible warning signs a potential partner may present, you might find yourself hastily entering new relationships. Because of your positive outlook, romantic partners may exploit your inclination to provide endless love and support—without reciprocating the same level of respect.
Wondering if you fit the description of a hopeless romantic? We consulted Jenkins to identify the 11 prevalent signs to be aware of. Along with outlining the key indicators, she also offers some advice on how to navigate the frequent traps that hopeless romantics encounter regularly—without abandoning the pursuit of love entirely.
11 Indicators That You’re a Hopeless Romantic
Do you think you might be a hopeless romantic? Reflect on the following 11 signs.
1. Your Relationships Begin and Conclude Rapidly
If you’re a hopeless romantic, you may experience intense passion upon meeting a prospective partner. However, after a relatively brief period, you might notice that these relationships often end dramatically or gradually lose momentum. You may frequently feel hurt by others, yet ultimately, that doesn’t deter you from seeking love.
2. You Experience One-Sided Partnerships
Hopeless romantics invest heavily in their relationships—emotionally, physically, and energetically. “Often this can be to their disadvantage, as they may feel that many of their partners don’t reciprocate the same level of care and affection,” says Jenkins. When the distribution of giving is unbalanced, you may spiral into despair, doubting your worthiness of your partner’s love. You might even find yourself intensifying your gestures of love. However, remember that for certain individuals, such actions can feel overwhelming and stifling.
3. You Hold an Excessively Positive Perspective on Love
Hopeless romantics tend to focus on the bright side of life. Frequently, this trait is what initially attracts potential romantic partners to them. “Hopeless romantics usually perceive the best in new individuals and can easily find connections and common ground with others,” explains Jenkins. “These perceived bonds lead them to construct a narrative of destiny and start to emotionally invest in their potential partners.”
4. You Overlook Warning Signs
Many hopeless romantics are eternal optimists. Consequently, you might reject or entirely ignore any red flags suggesting that your expectations of a relationship aren’t being fulfilled. “They typically disregard behaviors that don’t align with their perception of how a new love interest impresses them,” Jenkins notes. “They may overlook warning signs and subtle indications that a person is not as committed to them.”
No relationship is flawless, and ignoring issues won’t resolve them. If you find yourself unhappy in your partnership, communicate your feelings to your significant other. While addressing such conflicts may initially be tough, understand that the right partner will want to work through challenges and grow together.
5. You Are Enthralled by All Things Romantic
Hopeless romantics often immerse themselves in love in various ways, whether it’s by following relationship and wedding-related content on social media, or by indulging in romance-centered films, shows, books, and music. “Generally, hopeless romantics maintain a positive or cheerful demeanor, as this optimistic viewpoint contributes to their romanticized view of love,” says Jenkins. “They believe in love and fairy tales, possess youthful energy, and are enthusiastic supporters of those they care about.”
6. You Allow Your Emotions to Guide You
A hopeless romantic experiences everything intensely and expresses their feelings openly. While this can sometimes be beneficial, it may also backfire when reality fails to meet your elevated expectations. Navigating this emotional roller coaster of thrilling highs and disappointing lows can ultimately be taxing.
7. You Have a Tendency to Idealize Your Partner
Hopeless romantics often have a narrow perspective on relationships and dating. For instance, you might quickly fall for someone without truly knowing them. To prevent this, Jenkins advises reflecting on your authentic desires in a partner. “They should define and document their deal breakers and requirements prior to meeting someone new, providing a reference point that wasn’t influenced by feelings of attraction or novelty,” she recommends.
8. You Experience a Martyr Complex
As a hopeless romantic, your idealistic viewpoint can lead you to think that you must constantly give in order to receive love, that your worth lies solely in what you offer your partner, or that you must endure hardship to gain love. A martyr feels unable to change their situation, leaving them vulnerable to other people’s actions.
9. You Often Fantasize About Love
Hopeless romantics typically dwell in a fantasy realm concerning dating. They may devote their time and energy to contemplating love and relationships because of the joy it brings them. While this isn’t inherently negative, it’s crucial to recognize that these are merely fantasies—and not reality. “A hopeless romantic should consider dating several people when single to prevent fixating on one person to whom they might project all of their romantic fantasies,” Jenkins advises. “It’s wise to maintain a balance between spending time with friends and staying engaged with work and hobbies before letting romance dominate their thoughts.”
10. Your Long-Term Relationships Are Limited
The idealized perception of love that a hopeless romantic holds often results in unreasonably high standards, leading to few partners lasting long. “A romantic tends to be more selective and may reserve their affectionate behaviors for only a few individuals, but they are less likely to express those feelings outside of a committed relationship,” Jenkins notes.
11. You Devote All Your Time to a New Partner
When you find a partner, as a hopeless romantic, you may fully immerse yourself by spending all your time with them, to the extent that you overlook your hobbies and friends. It’s important to take things at a steady pace, continue pursuing your individual interests, and let the relationship develop naturally over time. This advice also extends to your online presence. “Hopeless romantics should refrain from extensively sharing about their new partner and interests on social media,” Jenkins advises.
There are essentially two perspectives on being a hopeless romantic; they are frequently desired, yet often criticized. A hopeless romantic consistently finds themselves deeply in love. Few love as intensely as they do. Embracing the role of a hopeless romantic means you derive joy and satisfaction from the small aspects of your relationship. Most of the time, you’re likely to romanticize the positive over the negative, envisioning various scenarios, surprises, and much more in your mind.
In spite of negative past experiences and an apparently unhealthy present, a hopeless romantic continues to welcome love, even when presented with glaring red flags that seem to signal danger. They invest emotionally, believe they’ve found their soulmate, and become attached right from the start without considering what may lie ahead.
While a hopeless romantic might seem like someone overly sentimental, cheerful, unrealistic, and deeply in love, their love affairs may not always yield positive outcomes. The hard truth can hit them unexpectedly. That’s when hopeless romantics often find themselves at their lowest point. However, they need to learn to balance the realities and fantasies of love to savor their relationships without experiencing pain.
Hopeless romantics are perpetual optimists and dreamers who often indulge in excessive sentiment. Whether confronted with a red flag or a critical situation, they attempt to navigate through it. If you’re curious about whether you embody this trait, don’t worry. We’ve compiled all the signs or symptoms for you. Continue reading to find out more.
How To Stop Being A Hopeless Romantic?
Be Pragmatic
Establish your expectations and beliefs regarding love and relationships, but ensure you keep them in check as you pursue someone. Recognize what true love entails. Avoid jumping blindly into dating or surrendering to passions without evaluating both your and your prospective partner’s expectations. Align your possibilities and drawbacks, consider the potential obstacles, and pay attention to any warning signs.
Communicate
Communication is essential for unlocking every closed door. Discuss every detail you believe is important or may affect the long-term future. Open dialogue will enable you to better understand and assess the situation. You can pinpoint any issues and likely find ways to resolve them. Approach conversations with a rational mindset.
Be Conscious of the Post-Honeymoon Phase
Relationships tend to be engaging and much more enjoyable in the initial stages. Don’t despair or lose confidence when you notice the initial excitement waning. Stay grounded and maintain faith in both your partner and the relationship. Be prepared to confront some challenges with trust and practicality, and don’t be intimidated by the arrival of reality.
Stay Hopeful
Do not allow yourself to be overwhelmed by red flags or the end of relationships. Instead, maintain an optimistic outlook that love is always possible. That said, remain aware of the emotional rollercoaster that relationships can bring. Don’t dwell on or romanticize drama and emotions excessively. Acknowledge feelings as they arise, but assess them thoughtfully. Avoid allowing excessive indulgence to disrupt your sense of self.
Don’t Compromise
A hopeless romantic often accepts less than they deserve. Instead, remind yourself of your worth and that you deserve better. Do not settle for less under the illusion that love will always lead to happiness. Set boundaries and establish milestones for yourself and your relationship. If you don’t feel secure, at peace, and sound in a relationship, muster the courage to walk away. Do not remain passive, hoping for improvement. Try to enhance the situation, but never at the expense of your well-being.
Achieve Balance
It’s crucial to find equilibrium between reality and fantasy. Being overly pragmatic can dampen the excitement in your relationship, so discovering a middle ground is vital. Occasionally, let your inner hopeless romantic shine and surprise your partner, rather than expecting them to intuitively understand your romantic desires. At other times, keep an open mind and consider how your partner perceives your idea of romance.
You are now equipped with the understanding that will help you maintain a realistic approach to relationships. Nonetheless, it’s important to distinguish between being hopeless and being a hopeful romantic.