Hear me out: Oral sex is like a trip to Chipotle. Sure, it can tempting to opt for the same tried and true technique combo every time you eat out, just as you’d order the same taco every time you, well, eat out. And there’s nothing wrong with knowing what works for you and your partner. But just as adding a new topping can level up your go-to meal, adding a new tongue technique can level up your sex life, too.
Even just one lick, finger, or angle change can take an oral sexperience from good to great, says Gigi Engle, certified sex educator and the author of All The F*cking Mistakes: A Guide to Sex, Love, and Life. Plus, because “experimenting in bed requires communication and trust,” trying new things can bring you and your partner even closer on an emotional level, she adds. Better sex, tighter bond? Here for it.
Ahead, find 9 oral sex moves you can add into your repertoire, whether you’re performing oral sex on a vulva or vagina, perineum or penis, anal opening or anal canal, and anywhere in between.
1. The Tease
There’s no reason to go from zero to tongue. Instead, take time to slow down and tease your sexual partner before immediately pressing your tongue into their hole(s), or flicking it as fast as you possibly can against their genitals.
“A lick here and a lick there, starting slowly and building intensity, can create anticipation, excitement, and increased pleasure,” says Rachel Needle, PsyD, a sex therapist, licensed psychologist, and co-director of Modern Sex Therapy Institutes, a continuing education and PhD provider company that trains couples and sex therapists around the world. In particular, the inner thigh, pubic mound, hips, and lower belly can respond well to lips and licks.
Also: If you’re on the receiving end, don’t hesitate to ask the other person to slow down and build up some anticipation, says Needle. A simple line like, ‘Can you start softer?’ or ‘Can I feel your mouth on my thighs first?’ can help you get what you want.
2. Breath Kisses
You keep your tongue in your mouth for this one! Actually, you don’t even touch your partner—seriously.
Dopamine levels are higher during the anticipation of pleasure than when you actually receive pleasure, according to Jess O’Reilly, PhD, host of the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast. That’s why she recommends “breathing” kisses all over your partner’s sensitive spots. Rather than planting a wet one right on them, the goal is to hover your lips as close to the surface of their skin without actually touching it.
As you might guess, this move is especially perfect for receivers who like to beg, and givers who like to be begged.
3. The Lip Lock
Rather than approaching your partner head on, consider going in from the side. This little swivel alters the angle, which can change the sensation a considerable amount, says O’Reilly.
If your partner has a vulva, squeeze their inner labia between your (face) lips, she suggests. While doing this, you can simultaneously run your tongue between the genital groove you’ve created, while also sucking on the area. (Pro tip: If you do suck, start soft and allow your partner to ask if they want more suction.)
If your partner has a penis, one option is to position your body so that it’s perpendicular to theirs. This slight position shift will change the angle from which your tongue greets their shaft. Some people have a side of their penis that is more sensitive than another, O’Reilly says, so experiment by coming at it from both the right and left.
4. The Two-Tongue Technique
You know what they say: Two minds tongues are better than one. Thankfully, you don’t have to get a tongue-splitting body modification or bring in a third to make it feel like you have a second tongue—all you need is lubricant.
Drench your fingers in lube, then use your sopping wet digits to “lick” around your partner’s thighs, pubic mound, taint, external labia, or shaft, says O’Reilly. As you swipe your fingers back and forth, she says, throw your “real” tongue into the mix, too. For instance, you might have your finger-tongue and real tongue play follow-the-leader up and down your partner’s inner labia. Or, you might flick the head of your partner’s penis with your finger, while licking their taint.
5. The Sucker
No doubt, a light lick can feel heavenly on someone’s nether parts. Still, you might want to try adding a sucking sensation into the mix, suggests Debra Laino, an AASECT-certified sex educator, board-certified clinical sexologist, and relationship therapist. “Sucking allows for more deep pressure,” she says.
Start with light licking to help increase overall arousal, she says. Then, start gently incorporating sucking.
If you’re performing this move on a person with a vulva, wrap your lips around the entire external clitoris and breathe in through your mouth to create a vacuum-like seal, says sex educator Searah Deysach, owner of Early to Bed, an education-focused sex shop in Chicago that offers workshops like Sex Toys, Partnered Sex, and Orgasms for Everyone. As you continue to suck, the clit will get more and more pumped with blood, which increases its overall sensitivity. You may need to adjust intensity as you continue sucking to keep from overstimulating the receiving partner, she says.
If your partner has a penis, the technique is the same. However, depending on the length and girth of their member, the size of your mouth, and your individual personal preferences, you may not be able to fit the entire penis in your mouth. That’s okay! Here, a little goes a long (intense) way.
6. The Palm Pocket
Your palm may not be as dexterous as your fingers, but it can still come in handy (get it?) during oral sex. If your partner has a vulva, press your palm flat against their mons pubis (the area of fatty tissue covering the pubic bone) and bend your fingers down to press against the full width and length of their vulva, explains O’Reilly. Next, you can slowly slide your fingers up and down while maintaining pressure against the vulva and clitoris. Get some tongue action into the mix by slipping your tongue between the grooves of your fingers to tease their labia while your fingers go up and down, she says.
If your partner has a penis, press your palm flat against their pubic mound, letting your fingers octopus down around their shaft, holding it in place. The pressure of your palm combined with the gentleness of a sweeping tongue can feel orgasmic… literally.
7. The Taint Teaser
South of the genitals but north of the anus is a patch of nerve-dense skin known as the taint, or perineum. “Including this small patch of skin into oral play can take pleasure to the next level,” says sex educator Goody Howard, creator of Lick! and Lip Service!, two oral sex workshops taught worldwide. When performing fellatio, pressing against this hot spot with your tongue or thumb indirectly stimulates the prostate, she explains. The prostate, colloquially known as the male G-spot, is located inside the body, right behind the taint, so stimulating that area during oral sex could be a game changer, Howard says.
If cunnilingus is your jam, adding the perineum into the action can help stimulate the perineal nerve, which controls the urethral sphincter and labia, she adds. In other words, one touch stimulates an additional three pleasure spots. (Now, that’s a triple threat!)
8. The Nose Job
When you’re giving oral sex, your nose isn’t just a decoration. In addition to allowing you to inhale your partner’s sweet and musky scent, your nose can be used to physically stimulate their genitals. The firmness of the nose’s cartilage can actually do a lot for a vagina or taint, says O’Reilly. That’s why she recommends rocking your head back and forth, and up and down around the vulva or taint.
9. The Salad Tosser
Adding the anus into oral sex—with your partner’s enthusiastic consent—can add a serious “wow” factor to your play. “The anal opening is a very nerve-dense area,” says Engle. “Teasing the opening of the anal canal with your tongue allows you to provide a lot of anal-centric pleasure.” As for how you use your tongue? You have options. “You can offer gentle, passionate kisses on and between the cheeks,” says Goody. “You can use your tongue to create intense flutters, licks, and swirls on and in the opening.”
Ultimately, there is no shortage of ways you can use your mouth to tease and tantalize your partner during oral sex. Just don’t forget to use your mouth to talk, too! Asking them what they want—and vice versa—will make for a far more pleasurable, communicative sexperience than cycling through one million different techniques and touches.